Poems Collection Sixteen
Sunday, July 12, 2020
She is frozen out.
Claiming it’s about
My defensiveness and
Being inauthentic, performative
What gives?
She doesn’t know or care
From where I came.
It’s all the same for its a shame
I can’t sufficiently change.
There’s a laundry list of complaints.
And ain’t
They all true to a certain extent?
Not what I meant.
Rather prioritize, tackle one by one.
Ok. Sounds doable even like fun.
Start with strengthening
So other’s complaints don’t toss me under or behind the bus.
This is a must.
*****
Reparations might be effective.
From my white man’s perspective.
I thought I saw
Before.
But the extent of institutionalized racism from slavery, to reconstruction to Jim Crow
Was of an insidious depth I scarcely did know.
No rich heir
of slave-owners can never fully repair
but apologies with money to the poorest descendants of those they did enslave
May pave
the way for a more fair days
in many barely anticipated ways.
Thursday, July 9, 2020
My dearest Beth, Happy Anniversary.
May you be merry
Healthy and calm
Wednesday, July 8, 2020
One day before
****
Waiting for Bill.
I learned from him to arrive early.
Surely good advice in general.
But today -wait.
It was still good to get out of the house.
****
Masked.
I’m the only one at this outdoor cafe.
Say, don’t they know?
Don’t they care?
This virus is no hoax.
It’s a real scare.
Tuesday, July 7, 2020
Whiplash
Betrayed
Succotash
Filleted
I had no idea they barely tolerated me.
Ira led me to believe I was missed and valued because he missed and valued me.
Maybe it’s my paranoia speaking
But I feel he wants me to attend group so he and they can have closure.
I have no desire to be a punching bag. It is clear now they reject and dislike me. I feel bit only criticized but condemned. I rather than internalize this new hatred choose to remind myself there has been progress and there is more to be made. I am optimistic about either Paxil or another to lessen my social anxiety. The new group with Elliot and individual therapy with his colleague are a little exciting. Interesting that I was so clingy and needy in talking to him. I am struck by how these anxious feelings overwhelmed my curiosity about his interest in creativity.
Whiplash less
Betrayed maybe so
We owed each other nothing
As one said she came there for a session and left it there.
Succotash somewhat less abashed
Definitely recovered from the trash
Filleted no longer 🦴 boneless, spineless rather now approaching being whole.
Which after all is my goal.
Saturday, June 27, 2020
Been in a snit.
Didn’t like it
one bit.
***
Cognitive distortion
Is my portion
How did I get here from
Such a productive day?
******
The most famous poem by my wife
Beth
Is
“The Hairs of Ken.”
When she found not even the best of friends
Could words amend
She then stopped at the title.
John Haidt’ll
Be happy 😊
So in her honor
Here are the poems of her husband Ken...
Beth whose love makes me feel the happiest of men.
****
Too true
These two
With tuba obbligati
Good enough for that John Gotti
He who be twittering through the night
With spotty logic
Spotty humanity
Spottily taking pot shots at the phony constitution
Injecting a healthy dose of good clean 🧼 fun
He gives us a run for his money
Funny
if you didn’t have thermometers
There would be no heat waves
So give him raves
He who be twittering tweeting
Instead of with Dr. Fauci meeting
Yes tweeting
Tilting right
through the night
For his logic spotty
On the White House golden potty.
*****
One
What?!!!
you think I this is a game?
You think this is fun?
OK
I’ll bring my guns.
Wear a mask?!
What are you crazy?!!!
God gave us the right to breathe.
This is not Cuba.
We are not a Democracy
We are a Republican republic
We the people have a constitutional right to assemble with freedom of speech.
It’s over.
The curve has been flattened.
Of course we have more cases.
That’s what happens when you test more.
We have all these beautiful tests.
Anyone who wants one can get it.
Other countries don’t test the way we do so their numbers look better.
And that my friend is the tenor of the times down to the anti-science
Anti compliance letter
Of the law
As plain and
As raw
As a temper tantrum child 👶
Smirking in a White House gone mad and wild.
*****
Ode to Elijah McClain
Let me make this perfectly plain.
He wore a ski mask to keep warm.
He wore headphones to block out the noise.
The police told him to stop walking because he was acting suspicious.
Of course that was blocked out with all the other noise.
Lacking any sense of poise
They killed him.
Just like that
injecting him with a lethal dose which destroyed his brain 🧠.
Oh my gods...
The base does not consider this odd.
The very stable genius, the chosen one
Said not a word
Gird your loins
Wait!!!
He did say something!
He praised stop 🛑 and frisk under Rudy
His all time favorite goody goody
He rued the day when Michael took it too far
For the department of injustice
Under Billy the bully
Becomes increasingly bizzarre
Social justice has been feathered and tarred targeting Black, Brown, Tan and Red and guess who’s next...
Thanks to that Wiley Willy Bill-Billy crow Barr.
*****
Friday, June 26, 2020
I looked for the triangle.
Beth’s favorite instrument 🎷
I’ll try a different angle.
For the anger she has for our son
Is born of love ❤️ and fear.
We need to make that perfectly clear.
Wednesday, June 24, 2020
My little baby website has been born.
Birthed conflicted.
Courage.
Or fool hearted.
Anderson, Rachel, Joe & Co.
Mika, Biden & Son
Newsom & Cuomo
Attacked but their fame insulates them in some way.
Too late?
My music & words are so intertwined.
Am I irresponsible?
For once -or for the first time in a very long time- I am not hiding. Not forcing myself on others - as much either.
The website is as integral to my process as the symphonies and recital.
Here come the songs of the singing bassoonist.