entrenched in my own psyche

(mini essay)

11/3/15

Historically, the Jews were subjugated, often nearly annihilated after being the victim of societally sanctioned sadism. Not just the nazis, pogroms, ghettos, inquisitions...

Some believe it was god's way of punishing us for our sins. Others believed it was also to improve us. Still others added the concept that by being thus improved we would become a light unto the world.

The Talmud and other sets of laws contain much that is good and noble. They also separate us from the rest of humanity. Where does our deep sense of inadequacy come from?

When I think of the long curls Hasidic boys are forced to wear, I feel humiliated- as if we are inviting mockery and spiritual castration. When I think of men with ill-fitting black coats and fur hats in the summer heat trudging along with bent backs seeming much older because of being in poor physical condition coupled with the arrogance that we are god's chosen people, I begin to understand my own ego extremes: powerlessness and grandiosity.

 When in 1948 England gave Palestine to the Arabs, inviting yet another massacre of our people something different happened. For the first time in many centuries, Jews fought back. There were 40 fighting Arabs for every Jewish soldier. Yet Israel was born and thrives.

World opinion is against us. Seeking to be liked by everyone is not the answer.

Neither is rage an answer. Anger can be used to energize us. It is part of the life force. As with fire, we need to take control.

I wonder how Martin Luther King and other African Americans have dealt with the pain of intergenerational trauma. The dignity encouraged by their church, coupled with decency, compassion and good judgement are positive factors. There was not the blaming ourselves aspect. I feel entrenched in my own psyche.