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Duke’s Daily

April 1, 2020

Pyongyang, N. Korea 

With special additional reporting from The Kremlin, Moscow, Russia Not the USSR not usT. Rex and the Chinese Virus

In this poem, oh great muse You rightly refuseMany a rhythmic rhyme For in this difficult time There is little poetry, little music. Little  🎵 music 🎶 in this quasi-historical fairytale fantasyAs is customary and easy Please me and you with suspension of disbelief The ensuing absurdityA dittya pity Just lookit’s turning into a bookThis balmof comic relief imagine relaxing 😎 with piña colada under a palmpleasant shadywith your gentleman or main ladymaking it entertainingExplaining our POTUS As you may noticeis by far more a reality TV Star. He’s made our country greatly at risk. He puts our health at the bottom of his list. At a pace ever more grim and brisk Being afraid 😱 to control the virus 🦠 in our landas that would not expand His fan base in the 2020 race He wants all those fact-denying Governors and religious leaders to give him a hand. It’s not exactly rocket science Or science of any sort for his or any cohort. It’s the artless art of a freeloader’s meal His cheating, bullying, pandering art of a deal Sending thousands, maybe millions to a hearse Destroying -for his purse 👛 our public weal. With that artless, shameful, devil’s deal With the seal of Putin’s approvalI feel It must have been a difficult deal as he has no soul to barter with the red-tailed Lucifer His crew and detail from beyond the pale. Even beyond Lord Putin’s Voldemort-Ian Fleming from Russia with love ❤️ Let’s explore down below not above. Though he tried to shove It under the rug Not the one on his head Or under a mistress’s bed. “It is a glorious thing To be a pirate king.”Bet you didn’t know that Donald J. was well-known To W.S. Gilbert Of Gilbert & Sullivan. Apparently he also had knowledgeOf our electoral college And how it could on the USA dump...A trump. “When in that...”Senate “If they've a brain and cerebellum, too/They've got to leave that brain outside/And vote just as...” T.  tells 'em to.”“I am the Captain of the Pinafore ; And a right good captain too! . . . . And I'm never, never sick at sea! What, never? No, never! What never? Hardly ever! He's hardly ever sick at sea!”That may be but he sickens meWith his delay of testingAnd continuous lying denying That the virus was festering. It’s all still ok in parts of the country. Precaution and prevention were never inventions for him Who is no longer slim (Perhaps a bit witted dim). He ❤️ loves conflict and post-haste unthinking self-aggrandizing last minute Munchhäusen syndromeFirst forward then back An endless attack Dizzyingly rewriting history A palindrome To roost coming home. Whew....That’s plentyMore than enough Even if we were up to April 2 of 2022. Well, back in JanuaryThe trade adviser to our beloved POTUS warned if we didn’t contain Coronavirus it could cause trillions of dollars of losses and make millions of Americans at risk of sickness or death. Jan 31st“Well, we pretty much shut it down coming in from China. We have a tremendous relationship with China, which is a very positive thing. Getting along with China, getting along with Russia, getting along with these countries.”Flash forward As we inexorably move to the hospital ward.“Boeing’s going to need some help.”Not to fear Our great, huge leader dear Just to be perfectly clear Will meet in the future near with the poor suffering folks (No jokes) Those poor suffering folks who run the oil companies. It’s not just POTUS His enablers including Ted CruzWhose dad according to POTUS...Who cares. Ted said the relief bill couldn’t be put to bed Unless it has more goodies for the coal, oil and gas ⛽️ industries. Not that they would care But pollution in the air Suddenly went down Isn’t it funny 😄 It was at the exact same time when our factories went dark. Hark!Could there be a relationship between hydrocarbons and clean air for you and me?But we love global warming especially on those cold, cold days in Moscow and in meadows where angelic white children play. "I don't know. I just don't know what the government assistance would be for what I have." “The United States will be powerfully supporting those industries, like Airlines and others, that are particularly affected by the Chinese Virus. We will be stronger than ever before!”"...government assistance...for what I have." What a lovely idea Help out the president becauseHe’s “losing billions”Republicans sold stock ahead of the market crash. Before the backlash Did Trump bail on stock?Sock 🧦 it to that stock and trade Reporter for the inference he made. “It’s a nasty 🤢 question...” "I don't have stock. I own things.”His daughter does too. She just got a batch of trademarks in China Couldn’t be finer In North Korea nor South Carolina Getting those trademarks Is in stark contrast to Her dad’s going after the son of JoeFor ivanka must know It’s a little eyebrow raising Some might say “amazing”She’s branding as much as she can From nursing homes to voting machines.voting machines?!!!!This blonde 👱‍♀️ whose dad had said “When she was a teen, she was really 🥵 hot.”Numbingly inappropriate... but not...She’s not so dumb.voting machines?!!!!Hmmm.  "It cost me billions of dollars to be president..."An investment With a hefty return as he continuously lines his pockets and skews justice with destroying dockets and the checks And balances which kept us from becoming a dictatorship Hopefully in history he’ll just be a malignant blip Not to be flip He understood checks were to raise his balances. Maybe.Maybe he hid(In plain sight To prove he’s always rightAs is known a priori to the far, far right.)For no stock did he ask or make bids. What about his kids?The truthThe whole truth And Nothing but the truth. “

I always treated the Chinese Virus very seriously, and have done a very good job from the beginning, including my very early decision to close the “borders” from China - against the wishes of almost all. Many lives were saved. The Fake News new narrative is disgraceful & false!”They” are working with “us”.“It is very important that we totally protect our Asian Americans...”From “... the Chinese Virus...”“I always treated the Chinese Virus...”THEY are working with US. "I've always viewed it as very serious."“There was no difference yesterday from days before. I feel the tone is similar but some said it wasn't.""This is a pandemic. I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic."All the truth that’s fit to printThe NY TimesFox and friends Amends the truth Maybe a bit uncouth The potus propaganda broadcasting boothIts viewers love ❤️ A good, juicy conspiracy theoryOf which some grow weary. As Anderson phrased it they dance 💃 their famous foxtrot. Are the 🦊 foxian foxholes on something from Timothy Leary?For science 🧬 Their eyes glaze over When presented with facts. It is the 😃 happy, snappy upbeat Treat of the upbeat POTUS like an elephant magically floating on a lotus Gladly goad usInto passionate rage Against believers in fact Setting the stage for racial attacks. ***Flashback When in the US (excuse me!)Said Steve... He, he, he... Chinese flu you can call it that too)A viral attack- the Flashback Early January “One person, coming in from China.” 🇨🇳 Late January “We have very little problem in this country” with five cases.”March 5. “Only 129 cases.”"So last year 37,000 Americans died from the common Flu...Nothing is shut down, life & the economy go on. At this moment there are... CoronaVirus, with 22 deaths. Think about that!"Aha! He advises us to think!If it were anyone else you’d suspect a hint of irony.Wink, wink 😉 “But we've never closed down the country for the flu." As we jettison Jfor T. todayPresident Donald T. Rex TexMex is not concerned at all about having had direct exposure to the virus.It will be gone “like magic.”“By Easter.” “A beautiful thing.”Yes, no 👎 no need for concern at all. There couldn’t possibly be a resurgence in the fall.To lighten the mood, Mitch march back toMarch seven (7)(Seen on all channels including eleven?)standing next to the Brazilian President at marvelous Mar-a-Lago club and residence.  “not concerned at all" “No, I’m not. No, we’ve done a great job,” The president is shaking hands, even on TV. “By the end of February, the World Health Organization had shipped tests to nearly 60 countries.” Politico So...?We didn’t want them. Ahem. Keep them on the ships. No blood 🩸 on my hands “I take no responsibility.”Must be Obama’s fault or Hillary. I get off Scott free. Now that I’ve got the Injustice Department working for me Keep the numbers down. Keep them down, Down, down, down If they go upYup, blame the Dems The guys but especially them ugly, fat dyke femmes eating Ring-Dingsthe ones who run the child sex-trafficking rings. Yes, keep the numbers down. I have to hurry to get fitted for my new, bigger, huge shiny crown 👑. March 10Next campaign rally- business as usual. “Stay calm... Coronavirus will go away.”The rally.. Cancelled the next day. Ok. Stay at home Except for religious gatherings.And other essential businesses.Huh?More on that later, the son-in-law, his brother with the Coronavirus company, the diva, the sons, the father, paging the pater and all you haters. Unholy trinity... what?! did I say I could count?March 121,200 cases “Very few cases.”“You call it a germ, you can call it a flu. You can call it a virus. You can call it many different names. I’m not sure anybody knows what it is.”You can call it a germYou can call it a fluYou’ll stick to whomever you want To stick to your alternative anti-science Anti-facts view like a pot of rotten glue. True You can call it a germ In your term There’s a worm 🐛 In your snappy, happy, happy, upbeat, happy 😃 phantasmagorical permafrost of a happy, crappy brain 🧠 Plain to seeThe opportunities You missed, you hissed At the media, the DemsThem’s the facts about the Coronavirus attack. Smack damn You’re a heartless ham. You can call yourself a lamb of god You can call yourself a modSuperhero More like a golfing 🏌️‍♀️ Nero You can can call yourself a somewhat orange, slightly selfish greedy sociopath. But above all It’s your base that’s brainwashed in their fear. Unfortunately this kind of dangerous thing Happened before as we look in the rearView mirror to Germany 🇩🇪 in the ‘30’s. The virus 🦠 now and the cancer then Blend together Metastasizing thanks 😊 to your baseAnd your Republican Reichstag Not realizing rightly the snag. You are not the whatever of god You are the world’s worst leader And that they blindly love 💕 you Is pathetic, sickening. Our collective pulse quickeningBut Unfortunately given mankind’s history Of all sorts of gods It’s really not that odd. March 16Multiple cases atMar-a-logo from that Chinese 🤧 fluWho knew?!The president’s property truly lost its virgin immunity thanks to you know who. Little boy blue?(Not Republicans, never, no, no they never do Like the boy who cried Wolf Blitzer you too?!Boy Blue wasn’t the one Who cried wolf 🐺 every day in every way Nay, never his fault. He takes no responsibility. Har, har, har and hee, hee, hee. He takes no responsibility. A very great captain is heNever taking responsibility “What, never? No, never! What never? Hardly ever! He's hardly ever...” sickening on land, in the air or at sea. For me..."I don't know. I just don't know what the government assistance would be for what I have." For me.  Me, me and me!For me and me alone!Maybe I should have myself cloned.Like boys from Brazil They-all the meeze (plural of me, rhymes with 🤧 sneeze) could help me run roughshod over capital hill passing all sorts of immoral self-enriching bullish billsPrinting money as I stick my hand into the till. Friday, March 27In the USmore than. 1,200 Coronavirus DEATHSA vaccine will be ready “relatively soon.”“I’m a smart guy,”“A stable genius.”“Natural ability...”“Super genius uncle...”“Maybe I should have been a doctor.”frankly He could not have killed Or hurt 😢 as many people that wayAs when from the golf ⛳️ course he plays POTUS all day. “I feel good about it. And we’re going to see. You’re going to see soon enough.”In the midst of this Mitt was the one Republican to call his bluff. “They’ve gone through the approval process,”Mr. T. said of the drugs. “It’s been approved, and they did.”All good, but not exactly, completely true...the F.D.A. had not approved any drugs for use in the treatment of coronavirus. But the stock of that company went up. Flash forward March 30POTUS as potent as Agent Orange 🍊 Gets FDA to approve a “game changer”Even though this this drug has sickened and killed people. The United States is in far better shape than other countries.It will “all work out very well.”It is spreading “very slowly in the U.S.”It is “very much under control.”March 28U.S. becomes first country with more than 100,000 cases. Sunday, March 29US has 2,300 Coronavirus DEATHSTrump tweets “Because the “Ratings” of my News Conferences etc. are so high, “Bachelor finale, Monday Night Football type numbers” according to the -“ failing” @nytimes, the Lamestream Media is going CRAZY. “Trump is reaching too many people, we must stop him.” said one lunatic. See you at 5:00 P.M.! M.!Monday, March 30161,771 cases T. Rex, Tex who prefers tweets to text 🍊 Orange you glad to see me on national T.V. His dad would be proud and grandpa too. A bit worried though through. Donald what would you do if truth, the American way- if democracy ever comes back?He sees no reason to impose a quarantine-even in the places with the most cases. It’s optional. I won’t ware a mask. I give the governors lots of flexibility. I take no responsibility. my new campaign slogan. On every war and look at me, I’m a war-time President. FDR was nothing compared to me. But I can just like him have three terms. Maybe more. We’ve said it before. Maybe this treasonous, rotten tyrant will get life. We interrupt this transmission to update you on The Saga of guys who go Gaga for any lady Even some past their heyday. Bonkers for Ivanka Who once gave a speech Good, 🧼 clean, wholesome Hopeful in a realistic way Upholding the American WayOffering help where it is needed. She sound like a Democrat that day. We thought her voice and that of her husband Would bring together a band Of wise advisors to help govern this land. That hope, that dream Drowned by POTUS snd co. In daily doses of increasing Quicksand. His base“Nearly two-thirds of Republicans who turn to sources that cater to right-leaning audiences PostWhen POTUS called out our “Deep State Department,” right wing media criticized Dr. Fauci for going against CDC guidelines by touching his face. They ratcheted that up claiming he is working with Hillary Clinton to undermine the president. And then there are the generous senators Sens. Tim Scott, R-S.C., Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., and Ben Sasse, R-Neb., said the bill could provide a "strong incentive for employees to be laid off instead of going to work" because some people could theoretically make more by being unemployed.Twitter reports that some of the right wing, anti-Fauci tweets are being retweeted over 700 times per day...Someone either has fast thumbs or could there be a little help from our friends in the former USSR?Hardy har har. T. Rex takes a big biteOut of truth every day and night. Did you see the invention which might save lives?It’s a very simple device, actuallyJust a piece of tape over the mouth of the sick person, the unnecessary employee who keeps showing up to work whose sickness has gone straight to his head. T. (Fla. not TexMex) expects to win another four, eight or more years...He might get life. Sunday, March 29, 2020Duke’s Daily March, 29, 2020The Kremlin, Moscow My Coronavirus ratings are so high No one can deny My alternative facts It’s a fact My act is so popular with every populistFrom Kansas to the Acropolis From football 🏈 heroes 🦸‍♀️ to Beer hall motorcycle, bearded 🧔 MAGA hat cool cat I’m where it’s at. At that I say Go pray close to every friendAttend church, thank god you’ve got me Rather than Joe, Bernie or Hillary... oh...So 🛑 stop ✋ worrying Get backTuesday, March 31Most of the new cases in the WORLD are in the U.S.20,921-Today. Deaths pass 3,000South Korea 🇰🇷 is having fewer cases, fewer deaths -they also are producing sufficient supplies for their spotless, state of the art facilities."Please stay at home and refrain from going outside and minimize contact with other people." S. KoreaCould we learn from them?Hire them to ramp up or production of supplies?Improve our protocols? Nah. We’re the best***Tuesday, March 31Most of the new cases are in the U.S.20,921-Today. Deaths pass 3,00South Korea 🇰🇷 is having fewer cases, fewer deaths -they also are producing sufficient supplies for their spotless, state of the art facilities."Please stay at home and refrain from going outside and minimize contact with other people." S. KoreaHow about in the US?Pres. TexMex Rex the first“pretty unlikely.”“We’ve talked about it.”He deems Or dreams That some states  “are frankly not in trouble at all.”Red states are pretty much immune it seems. Take for example Arizona where workers cluster together in living quarters. Until a few days ago, Gov. Doug Ducey chose not to ask people to stay at home. You can’t blame him though because he was only following the ideas of POTUS who feels many parts of the country are not affected at all. Why are the workers so busy?They are speeding up construction of dumpf’s wall. After allThe T. admin Claims a wall will lessen transmission. Didn’t know, but viruses can’t climb over even a wall that is very, very tall. Of the virus 🦠 from Mexico 🇲🇽 (Uh, isn’t the virus from China 🇨🇳?)The Center for Disease Control and Prevention Says a wall will not help. (Must be run by the Deep State Democrats. And anyway, they base their work on those unreliable scientific facts instead of listening to the “the smart guy with natural ability who should have been a doctor.”Why build the wall now, when construction in other parts of the country has been temporarily suspended?I guess it’s one of the essential business. Arizona’s has a large number of essential businesses such as golf courses, nail salons and pawn shops.What about massage parlors?Isn’t a big T. donor a massage parlor owner?By the way she’s from China. Republican governors in Ohio, Texas and Mississippi shut down abortion as non-essential services. Today, a record US 794 deaths from the virus. Yesterday was a record as was the day before. Each day a new record of deaths. Those Red states, either not believing in science- as though there was no visible evidence- or thinking they can put their economy ahead of our people’s health TexMex Rex showed a graph today on his TV show pointing ☝️ out that NY has the most cases. Other places -could those be more sparsely populated Red states- he said were more proactive. Can TexMex make even one statement that is either true or free of policial posturing or self-aggrandizing?That’s a nasty question.Of course Tomorrow is April one So if we had written this mañana This could all be a joke from the Banana Republicans But wait!April 1T. finally realizes on April first that this is no joke. But wait...The CDC Said everyone should wear masks. Donald T Said it’s “optional”Not for me. When Pence was put in chargeSet up to fail With a Pass to Mike not MaryAll hail the Hail Mary fast failing POTUS Cow towing to his Holy grail. Mike getting praise for being more presidential than The large POTUS criminal at large POTUS took the mic 🎤 more than a Pence named Mike. Looking ahead Pence said on On April 7The Chosen One, Blessed be He Removed the Inspector General Overseeing how the relief trillions are Meant to be spent. Couldn’t trust him- might be a Democratic left over from the Obama administration. Can’t have any of that type of infiltration-might actually lead to some honest information- in other words, another hoax. The fact that he became an Inspector General during the Bush W. Years bears no importance for that’s a fact and as smatter of fact, we know the relationship our great stable genius has to fact and it’s not exactly intact. So guess who gets to oversee those trillions?

Why of course, it’s none other that that trump-worthy Oops trust-worthy guy (just one word different)- an infinitely wise-guy who likes to take a little off the top to hide that he’s just such a flop. Just because the star ⭐️ with the hugest ratings and the smallest-Amount of compassion -has used briefings to repeatedly attack opponents, spread misinformation on the pandemic, promote unproven drugs and treatments,” as CNBC concisely reports It’s no reason for his ratings to go anywhere but up. Yup. That’s what Fox wants And what the Fox wants The Fox gets. Maybe Little Red Riding-hood should be POTUS or Susan Rice would be nice Clarity of mind and speech To replace our insatiably lustful 🩸 blood-sucking leech. Let’s get back to Pence The suspense is killing meOr could it be the Chinese Flu?A Choo! Sorry forgot to wear a mask or social distance. POTUS days it’s optional not as the experts say essential and optimal. But it’s ok, because as Blacks we can’t get an attack of this big bug. Oh I could give you a hug. Smug and snug in my bed listening to posts on social media could they be Russian bots?They sure seem to know lots and lots!Lots of harmful, spiteful nonsense Whence Pence proclaimed no Dr. Fauci on CNN until when the POTUS gets his full two hours plus daily Reality TV Show to go live into every home, every crevice. As POTUS said Don’t believe what you hear, what you read or what you see. Only believe in god and especially put your trust in me. April 9More from our crystal ball 🔮 Just like new Back from the repair shop. A well-functioning crystal ball Is really all You need as we hop to the stock market For a dropA data point of better news. The S&P is back in bull market territory. Gee that didn’t take long for the super richTo get bailed out of the deepest- so far- POTUS Ditch. As for the folks on the bottom They can get 🥘 food handouts They can apply for unemployment insurance And maybe another entitlement or two. Sure the recession was caused by Dems The media, Hussein Obama who may not have been born here and let’s not forget Hillary. Who if she had won- and I won by a huge... You should see the size of my...Tricks...If she had used more tricks cheated even more with her Russian and big business collusions my second amendment folks would have known what to do. By the way, gun sales are up. Ammunition snd bombproof cars. So I’ve created a great bull market. The economy is great. I’ve done more for Africans in our country More than any president. Their unemployment rate was way down. They are immune to that Chinese flu. Just like big strong coal miners with their powerful lungs. Me too. I’m immune I’m a nice guy. I’m above the law. Rules are for sissies Paying taxes is for goodie, goodie two shoes 👠 I like women in 👠 high heels 👠 and lingerie So I can grab... Your attention Grab the mic 🎤 from Mike Senseless If Pence has any sense He’d reference My greatness More than once an hour. He neglects to say I have knowledge from a higher power. The Chosen OneThe great presidential POTUS took a breath.  He remembered from where and whence he meandered...Gun sales are up. The economy is the biggest it’s ever been. Our economic policy can be summed up in three beautiful words, jobs, jobs, jobs. I’ve done all this not those previous presidential slobs. I’ve been great for all Americans So let’s get rid of the criminals, rapists and murders who bring in the flu 🤧 from Mexico too I’ve help Africans, many a JewI’m protecting Asians. All people I’m the leader of all people. I’m generous to a faultFir all my subjects Africans, Muslims, Chinese, American Patriots Like the Navy guy who fired that wimp who used to pretend to run a big ship 🚢 Couldn’t handle it when the little moot, minor blip of a suspected Chinese flu 😷 on his ship. Oh how flip  Yes it’s wonderful. It’s a wonderful world I built. And it only took six days!And I avoided the cross. Just like god’s son died to save us A few of our country’s sons have to die to save us from the Chinese virus. And meI’m free Thanks to Mitch And a conspiracy theory Or three The Dems can’t convict meThey can’t catch me in my faultless perfect speech a few alternative facts How dare the enemy of the people media contradict I know a lot. My uncle was a genius scientist. I should have been a doctor. Yes I can talk forever My base loves me We’re in love 😍 Making America great and keeping it great For you, me snd all the people just like us. And yes there are a few who sadly do not love 💕 America the way you my beloved patriots do. And mostly me too. Send her back they chanted. With my rant my base is enchanted I miss those rallies. Is social distancing really necessary?The CDC is run by a wonderful true Christian So I’ll see what I can do. With the truth As we always do To my people on the right do Do the next right thing Bring your concealed weapons Your concealed revenge No longer has to be hidden. I’m the leader of the once free world. Let’s keep America great 👍 Free of hate. “He happens to be Hispanic, but I never quite figured it out because he looks more like a WASP than I do,” The big guy playing to an adoring crowd said of Cortes, who was in the audience.From the stage, he asked Cortes: "Who do you like more, the country or the Hispanics?” Cortes appeared to mouth “country,” to which Trump replied: “I don’t know. I may have to go for the Hispanics, to be honest with you. We got a lot of Hispanics.”They have a better understanding of the drug problem- I’m winning the war on drugs-they understand that more than other Americans. “We love 💗 our Hispanics.”Reported By Shannon Pettypiece and Monica Alba 🌅 from RIO RANCHO, N.M.People like us. I like immigrants...From Norway. My father was an immigrant. People like us. For people like us. Just think about that...Just like in Charlottesville there were very good, very fine people on both sides. So if it’s April 1How do we know these future events?Just as we were in suspense about Pence Mostly boldly and manifoldly all Has been in our crystal ball foretold. It is no mysteryThe POTUS historyIs predictableHe leaves most of the world in misery. (That and of course the fact that this was edited past the dateline date.)As we waited we with breath baited Hoping leadership had finally arrived Our lousy bogus POTUS Once again filled the airwaves With his ever-disgusting self-serving self praise congratulations 🎈🎉🍾 he said For our war on drugs!!!?What 😲 does that have it do with it💕 love?💗 out of the infinite depths of his inept overcompensating egoWe go from fleeting hope to despair 😩 What does he care as long as he rallies his base What a pathetic international disgrace.So as we close on this first of April we realize again that every time the president and his men Open their mouths 👄 and spokeIt was disheartening, sickening April Fools Day joke. *%##%^*+^^%%**** EOF ****<#$*+<|~%^*+