the circus

(Four unnatural acts without dialog and decreasing detail)

Outline

7/18/15

The tortured, smiling clown -always smiling. Laugh clown laugh. Pagliacci.

The red wig, gargantuan red mouth, over-smiling the perpetual smile: was it his fantasy that this practically mute professional fool - a mime before he donned the circus garb- was a serial killer? Or was it reality? His reality. A trap or a trap door?

The runaway prostitute - now a serio- comic dominatrix of clowns

They ate together at the freaks' table - usually in silence. She had a history of running away. At fifteen she ran away from abusive parents. At 16 she ran away from her abusive pimp - ran away to join the circus - which she always loved - now she plotted to run away from the abusive ringmaster.

She stole money from her pimp- enough to keep her afloat - payback. She also left him practically dead. Where did she learn to fight like that? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and all that.

She felt justified. The law, she believed would have been too slow to help her. She took justice into her own hands. Maybe she should have killed him. What if he came after her? Smiling: that would be interesting. She would be ready.

But she would miss her clown. Her gentle, tortured, crazy clown. Could someone so empathetic be that nuts - totally - whacko?

He told her his stories. She knew he was out of his mind; the question was: was he delusional about the murders or was he really a sociopath? Or was he just telling stories to shock her, to test her affection or to purge himself of his endless subterranean volcano? What caused his pain? What causes anyone's pain? Why is there endless suffering? Do other animals have all this angst? Is it our ability to be aware of ourselves? Is it the disconnect from the basic needs of survival? No - if it were, then poor people would be happier? Maybe they are - more honest, more real, more connected to what needs to be done.

She shared this with the clown: yes, poor people are all that. Aha!  He caught himself putting people on pedestals. Easier to knock them off that way. He remembered a paraphrase of a fragment of a Renaissance ditty: he who rests on pillows finds it hard to get out of bed.

Maybe he wasn't crazy beyond repair.

Either way it didn't add up. She had read a couple of pop psychology books- maybe he had multiple personalities. Or maybe his attempts to scare her were just a test. She didn't scare easily that was for sure.

Shhhh... Someone was coming.

Act II

The classroom

The girl goes to school - she runs away to a -- community college... Had gotten a GED while at the circus. She saw an ad for put your life back together (as if -she smiled - her life had ever been together.) First stop: advisement- for a messed up, hostile lesbian chick, she mused, I put on a pretty all-put-together appearance. Green slacks, low heeled brown suede half boots, corporate white shirt, no jacket that would be too much for her presentation of a student. No make up, shoulder length blonde hair, aviator glasses.

She wasn't sure she was really a lesbian. Her feelings and thoughts were clouded by all the men who had hurt her. She said she hated men yet thought about having a man in her life- even a kid or two.

Living at the Y. Working as a waitress. Easier to be a stripper -- enough! of strangers touching me, ugh.  Get an MBA, climb the corporate ladder. Get a cleaning job, any job on Wall Street. Go to the gym.

See a shrink.

Act III

The orchestra - hell

First stop the Himalayas

Purgatory

Dante

Rock

Rebellion

Act IV(climax on top of Old Smokey)

Two lovers, an ink blot test, volcanoes - psychological also from the earth