Real Greek Yogurt

7/19/15

Jucundus

acceptable, delightful, pleasing, agreeable, enjoyable, likable

lepidus

elegant, witty, charming, glamorous, enchanting, likable

probatus

proven, approved, tried, pleasing, esteemed, likable

Jucundus was dedicated. Perhaps Jucundus Lepidus Probatus was more dedicated than other youths who listened to Plato. At dawn he ran five kilometers after lifting boulders, then swam in the Ilissos before eating a breakfast of wild berries and nuts which he collected. Sometimes he made real Greek yogurt.

He read, studied, wrote.  Jucundus barely spoke. Perhaps it was his stutter. People always made fun of him. Or perhaps it was because he had a foreign name. 

Jucundus kept to himself as much as possible. He woke up one morning and realized he was a coward.

Jucundus knew he should be more helpful but he was always trying to make himself acceptable- adequate in the eyes of his father- even though his father, Irritabilus Iracundus had been dead for a few years;  Jucundus had never known his mother who died in childbirth. Being an orphan was somehow liberating. He was ashamed to tell this to anyone.

 Jucundus was the last surviving descendant of the illegitimate son of Icarus who had a tryst with a Naiad the night before his fateful chariot ride.

Jucundus wondered if Icarus knew Phaethon.  While Icarus fell because of hubris - his father, Daedalus had tried to teach young Icarus the middle path - not to be subservient and languish and not to be overly taken with his own powers. One of the most painful instances of a father thinking he had taught something to his son - later realizing tragically if his son did not learn it, he did not teach it. Daedalus was a good man- tremendously talented in architecture, helpful to Pasiphae- it was not her fault Poseidon made her fall in love with the bull and bear him a son: the Minotaur.

Daedalus, imprisoned by King Minos of Crete who feared Daedalus who by virtue of his knowledge of the labyrinth would sabotage the king's ritual slaughter of 14 youngsters - every nine years, sent as a peacekeeping tribute from the Athenians. Minos was a monster: he had gotten Skylla to fall in love with him. He used her - having her pull out her father's magic purple hair. Then he drowned Skylla. Actually Daedalus was no prize either having been exiled from Athens for the murder of his nephew of whom he was jealous - that the boy might grow to be a better architect. Ugh.

Phaethon's fate was the same that befell Icarus. The preamble differed. Phaethon was a son of Apollo who did not believe his mother when she told him of his father's prowess. Taunted by bullies, he badgered his fathered into giving him proof. Apollo said "Sure kid anything you want. Why not take the sun chariot out for a spin." Of course when he got too near the Earth which he endangered with the excessive heat which just might have been the first example of global climate change which could have wiped out humanity, Zeus said "No pun intended, but this ain't gonna fly. I kinda like that little blue planet." So Zeus zapped him with one of his famous thunderbolts. Fried Phaethon, better than scorched Earth. Ugh. Right. And you think I'm violent?

 Read the next paragraph very quickly, not for meaning.

Which reminds me, was Clymene, the wife of Iapetus, mother of Atlas, Epimetheus, Prometheus, and Menoetius;[4] perhaps sister of Asia-[5]  was Clymene the mother of Deucalion by Prometheus? Clymene might have been married to King Merops of Ethiopia. Who knows? Who cares? But we do know - well sort of kinda if you go for this sort of horseshit: She had a one-nighter with Helios and so was the mother of Phaëton. Or was Phaethon really Apollo's and Clymene's child? Is that where the expression climb into bed comes from? Was she a social climber? Maybe she was not unfaithful to Apollo. Now here's a bright idea: After all did you ever see Apollo and Helios together? Maybe they were just like Clark Kent and you know who. Comics and superheroes are modeled on the gods of antiquity.

Ok, it’s safe to slow down now.

No wonder Jucundus stuttered.

There were just too damn many thoughts in his head.

Was Jucundus was just a man ahead of his time?

Of course, if Jucundus Probates had just known Latin it would have made his life a lot easier.