brick

4/16/15

Staring at the wall, he became a brick.

Not the mortar, not just any brick, a central brick. Then he saw:

All bricks are central in the sense that all are needed to make a wall complete.

Ode to truth

4/1/15

Ode to truth... Maybe not beauty.

What the hell do I want?

Sex. Beer. No. Be serious.

OK...

Let me think? Um... I got it. I had it wrong before. What I want is...

Beer…

…then sex.

Henny Youngman meets Woody Allen in a bar. They decide to not go to a strip club.

5/19

Goals. Schmoals!

Who needs ‘em when you’ve got a lifetime of regrets and daily reminders of what an undesirable shit you are?

Yeah, I know what you mean:

Take that golf caddy who told me to carry my own clubs then complained to the PGA that I didn’t tip enough.

Or.

That bimbo who asked if I wanted a good time. I gave her the hundred bucks. She looked at her watch, then turned her back, high-tailing it out of the bar in those stiletto high heels. I said, ‘What about that good time?’ She again looked at her watch calling out, as she disappeared through the door, ‘Now… is about as good a time as any.’

Or...

Ok enough bad jokes. Are these “dad” jokes” another way women - some women- put men down?

Are you angry at women or just angry?

How about a little verse?

Can’t be verse than those jokes.

Where’s Henny’s violin?

In the repair shop?

Because his concert was a flop?

A flip and a flop never stopped a hot hyena from being nicer not meaner.

Keener to cook a couple of mottled cuttlefish I wished to be stronger and last longer in bed why bother if wifely wife finds me less desirable than aforementioned fish?

Surely, I exaggerate.  Ok. She finds me equally unappealing. She prefers lox and herring.

Still with the bad jokes.

It’s an avalanche.

Or an avoidance.

What am I avoiding?

If I knew, would I be avoiding it?

Let me put it this way:

Here’ a very short, short science fiction story:

A feeling of emptiness hung over the purple sky. Alien ships silently descending. Not so bad because they weren’t drilling a hole down to the earth’s core to plant an explosive. They were not shooting deathly death ray guns at innocent pedestrians. They weren’t doing anything menacing except of course having appeared out of nowhere, they scarred the behgebees out of me and at least a couple of other mild-mannered earthlings. Even mild-mannered Clark was a little on edge.

So, the mother craft is hovering a few feet above the Empire State. Crowds are craning their necks, waiting for something terrible, sickening and totally unholy, not to mention- you get the picture- to happen. 

Woody turns to Henny:

Ok that already happened… in the presidential election in 2016.

Happy 20th Birthday!

2/10/15

Dearest son,

Danny, I am so proud of you that words can only suggest my happiness about the person you are and are continually becoming.

Ever since you were born, your curiosity and inventiveness has led you to find your own path... Trains and travel - you have always been a good traveler and traveling companion; writing, photography, acting, dancing, music in many ways... cosmology... and of course languages.

Danny, you are a good listener. You are interested and interesting, an artistic soul in the body of a realist.

Some people have your good qualities but do not achieve escape velocity from their parents. You have accomplished this and are ever more competent at solving life's challenges- not a trivial feat.

Happy 20th Birthday!

Do something nice for yourself.

With much love,

Dad