Journal Entry  

6/19/15

Can I take him and everyone else off the pedestal - now?

Please.

Enough of his inferiority now mine, now my son's.

I have intrusive angry thoughts about many people-everyone including myself. Among these are racist epithets - it feels so bad to have these words in my head.

I think of people of color I admire, President Obama, Colin Powell, Waldron, a decent fellow on the train, Matthew who runs marathons in his wheel chair, then gets back to singing and making more recordings with his brothers.

I would like to hear their music.

The inspiring African-American singer who worked briefly at that school.

Kathleen Battle.

Billie Holiday.

Duke Ellington.

Count Basie

Charlie Parker

Louis Armstrong.

Make my anger more appropriate.

Thinking clearly more consistently

Being helpful

Playing music?

Singing?

Writing.

Learning.

These are my goals